Inventive Adaptation

[Tesseract]

Not sure if this is the right spot for stuff like this, but I didn't see anything else more appropriate!

Since I've been analyzing myself a little lately, I've noticed a few things that I do on a subconcious level that seem to get around various problems that are presented by symptoms of Aspergers'.

For example, I find it terribly difficult to initiate eye contact.  I think that this may be where my tendency to bow as a greeting may have come from.  It allows me to politely avert my eyes, and it also looks quite classy  

I'm still a little uncomfortable with eye contact DURING conversation, but that at least breaks the ice in a less awkward fashion.

Perhaps others can share their methods of 'inventive adaptation' as well!

[susan]

In his book, "The Self Help Guide for Special Kids and Their Parents" James Williams says that he looks at people's ears instead of in their eyes.  He feels that this makes them think he is looking at their eyes, but he avoids the anxiety of trying to establish direct eye contact.  The publisher is Jessica Kingsley.  If bowing is the only thing that works for you, then bow. However, bowing is sometimes perceived as overly formal. You could also try using sunglasses.  Then they don't know if you're looking in their eyes or not. 

[Tesseract]

Sunglasses wouldn't really work around the office. ^^;  I DO wear sunglasses during the daylight, but that's more to do with my hypersensitivity than anything else.

During conversations, I can't really manage the constant eye contact thing, t'be honest...  The bowing just gets me through brief greetings scot free.  People around Milwaukee actually seem to think the bowing is just quaint, more than odd.  I don't mind coming across as a quaint eccentric.

I don't think the ear thing would work for me, though.  I tend to assume that people would notice the things I do, and I'd actually notice the difference between someone looking me in the eyes and looking me in the ears.  Same with the sunglasses thing.  I can usually spot the motion and orientation of eyes through most sunglasses, so I don't assume my sunglasses hide my eyes from everyone.

What I DO tend to do is animate while I talk, so I get 'excuses' to take my eyes away.  If someone says something informative, I'll look aside and nod thoughtfully.  If I'm telling a story, I'll make grand motions.  If I'm querying, I'll look pensive and slightly downward.  Through all of this, I'll 'touch base' and grab eye contact for a moment here and there.  I know people realise that I'm avoiding eye contact, but at least it makes it slightly less awkward.