ASPIE'S CAN'T LIE - LACK COGNITION - BUT CAN THEY BE COACHED

[TITIANA]

ON TUESDAY AUG 12TH MY DAUGHTER ASKED ME (AFTER THE GIRLS SECOND REFERENCE) IF SHE SHOULD BE CONCERNED ABOUT THEM WANTING TO PLAY THE TOUCH AND FEEL GAME WHILE THEY WERE BOUNCING UP AND DOWN ON DADDY'S BED -  I STARTED OFF BY SAYING THIS WAS NOT BEHAVOIR I HAD ENCOUNTERED WHEN THEY WERE HERE FOR THE DAY OR EVEN WHEN I GAVE THEM BATHS TOGETHER - I EXPLAINED THAT SEXUAL CURIOUSITY WAS NOT THAT UNUSUAL FOR HER FIVE YEAR OLD OR FOR THAT MATTER THE THREE YEAR OLD ESPECIALLY SINCE THEY BOTH ATTEND THE SAME SPECIAL ED PRE-SCHOOL. I TOLD HER SHE SHOULD KEEP A CLOSE WATCH AND DISCUSS IT WITH THE FIVE YEAR OLD'S SOCIAL WORKER AT THE SCHOOL AND ASK FOR HIS ADVICE SINCE THEY MAY HAVE PICKED IT UP FROM SOME OF THE OTHER KIDS AT SCHOOL BECAUSE KIDS ARE CURIOUS AND SOME LIVE IN GROUP HOMES WITH OLDER CHILDREN - HE GAVE HER THE SAME ADVICE I DID - KEEP YOUR EYES AND EARS OPEN - IF IT HAPPENS AGAIN, IN A NON-THREATENING WAY GET INTO A CONVERSATION ASKING THE OBVIOUS WHO, WHAT, WHERE, WHEN AND EVEN IF IT DIDN'T HAPPEN AGAIN THAT SHE NEEDED TO START TALKING TO THE GIRLS ABOUT INAPPRORIATE AND APPROPRIATE TOUCHING - YOU WANT TEACH THEM WHAT IS GOOD TOUCHING AND BAD TOUCHING WHILE AT THE SAME TIME NOT SHAMING THEM.

FRIDAY AUG 15TH I GET A CALL FROM HER TO LET ME KNOW SHE WAS ON HER WAY TO THE HOSPITAL TO HAVE THE GIRLS EXAMINED. THE SUBJECT CAME UP AND SHE DID AS I AND THE SOCIAL WORKER SUGGESTED - AND THE ANSWER TO WHO PLAYS TOUCH AND FEEL WITH YOU? WAS DADDY. THE FIVE YEAR OLD (ASPERGER'S PDD-NOS) WAS CONSISTENT IN HER STORY ON FRIDAY WITH THE MOTHER, THE POLICE, AND THE HOSPITAL SOCIAL WORKER AND AGAIN ON SATURDAY IN A ROOM ALONE AT CHILD PROTECTIVE SERVICES - THE THREE YEAR WAS ALL OVER THE PLACE AND WAS GOING DOWN THE LINE ACCUSING EVERYONE INCLUDING THE POLICE OFFICER WHO WAS QUESTIONING HER SO HER TESTIMONY WAS DISCOUNTED. THE HOSPITAL FOUND THAT THERE WAS EXTENSIVE VAGINAL IRRITATION AND BRUISING ON THE FIVE YEAR OLD AND TO A LESSER DEGREE SOME ANAL AND VAGINAL IRRIATATION ON THE THREE YEAR OLD.

FIRST SHE WAS TOLD THE POLICE WOULD BE ARRESTING THE FATHER AT WORK ON FRIDAY - THEN THE POLICE SAID THEY WOULD BE ARRESTING HIM AT THE HOME AFTER THE HOSPITAL DID THE EXAMINATION THAT EVENING - THEN THE POLICE TOLD HER HE WOULD BE ARRESTED THE NEXT MORNING BUT THAT THEY TOLD HIM HE HAD TO VACATE THE HOUSE AND NOT COME BACK UNTIL IT WAS ALL RESOLVED - THEN THEY TOLD HER HE WOULD BE ARRESTED MONDAY WHEN THEY GOT THE FULL HOSPITAL REPORT - BOTTOM LINE IS HE HAS STILL NOT BEEN ARRESTED BECAUSE A) THE HOSPITAL COULD NOT CONCLUSIVELY SAY WHAT THE DEFINITE CAUSE OF THE IRRITATION AND BRUISING WAS AND B) THEY COULDN'T TAKE THE TESTIMONY OF A FIVE YEAR OLD.

WHAT REALLY CONFUSES ME IS THAT THEY CHECKED HIS COMPUTER AND FOUND ON HIS BROWSING HISTORY WHERE HE HAD BROWSED DOZENS UPON DOZENS CHILD PORN SITES INCLUDING ONE ENTITLED "DADDY TEACHES DAUGHTER TO F..K" BUT DID NOT TAKE THE COMPUTER AWAY FOR EVIDENCE AND THEY NEVER SAID TO THE FIVE YEAR OLD CAN YOU SHOW ME WHERE YOU PLAY THE TOUCH AND FEEL GAME - AFTER THEY WERE TOLD BY THE MOTHER THAT THE ONLY TIME THE GAME COMES UP IS WHEN THEY ARE IN DADDY'S BEDROOM BOUNCING ON HIS BED.

OK - SO FINALLY MY QUESTION

THE FIVE YEAR OLD IS A TEXTBOOK ASPIE - SHE CAN'T AND HAS NEVER LIED - SHE JUST SIMPLY CAN 'T! - WHY IS YOUR SISTER CRYING? - I HIT HER....WHO BROKE THAT? - I DID - TO THE BEST OF MY KNOWLEDGE  ASPIES CAN'T LIE - AT LEAST SHE CAN'T - AS BRIGHT AS SHE IS SHE DOES NOT HAVE THEORY OF MIND OR COGNITIVE ABILITY.

IS IT AT ALL POSSIBLE THAT AN ASPIE COULD BE COACHED? AND IF NOT SHOULDN'T THE POLICE BE TAKING THIS CHILD'S TESTIMONY ON FACE VALUE?

[Jen]

I wanted to get back to you right away because this is a really important situation. I have talked with a friend who is VERY knowledgeable in this area and she will be on here soon to help you thru it.
Please continue to do all you can to protect these children- and to make sure they feel believed.

[Jen]

I understand my friend has emailed you offline- hope it has been helpful.

[JanJT]

I had a similar issue with my son...he had been preyed upon by a pedophile (luckily, nothing happened other than public nudity at a local Y dressing room) but it was clear that this man had made advances toward my son.

I called the police, and an officer came out. He sent me to another room (I was still within earshot) and told my son point-blank that he was lying. I explained later to the officer that my son was not capable of fabricating a story such as this due to his Asperger's.

Of course, the officer didn't understand this. I reported him to his supervisor, and later he was reprimanded. The guy who had preyed on my son had a complaint filed against him, and can never work with children again.